June 19, 2002

i just realized its been almost a month since i posted anything here. i find hard to get time to spend posting here not sure why maybe all the kids have something to do with it. we had a family give us a mattress yesterday, it has been amazing how people we dont even know hear something about the kids and that three more are coming and want to help out. one hard thing has been letting go of my pride and accepting gifts from others. i keep thinking that this is the model on the church as it should be. the interesting thing is that many of the people helping are not christian as far as we know. maybe there is a lesson to be learned there. the church which is suppose to be a place of love compassion and sharing is at many times not. maybe we are being shown a model for doing church that we are to undertake.

what if its all about taking care of widows and orphans as it says so many times in the bible. in the history of israel the times they were under god's wrath was when they were neglecting their widows and orphans, very similar to our world isnt it.

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It’s 4am and my almost two year old is in the basement screaming, unwilling or unable to sleep. There are nights when I wonder why we decided to adopt at all, but those thoughts don’t last long. They, like most thoughts about the negative side of things, come at unexpected times and stay for tea and go. Adoption has become an integral part of our lives over the past five years. It all began when I was in seminary. In the midst of a major life change my wife and I both felt we should adopt. We already had four children why did we need anymore? Now we are on the verge of bringing three more girls into our family, which will make eleven kids. After we welcomed Noah into our family people started to look and talk to us differently. Many people ask how we could do it, the money, the time, the need. I can’t remember when but somewhere along this road I changed. When we first got married I wanted zero children but my wife is persistent and convincing. The morning we sat in an adoption agency in Alabama I knew my life was going somewhere I would have never chosen a few years before. In the midst of career and personal transformation I was shown how to give myself away. Now almost every time we are out with our family someone comes and asks us about the kids, about adoption, about why. The other day when we were out walking with six of our kids this man asked us if we were “raising all them kids ourselves?” He told us we were crazy and Sydney and I both laughed. If I’m crazy so be it… at this point I wouldn’t change a thing. The unspeakable joy that I experienced when one of my children wraps their arms around me and tells me they love me disintegrates all my doubts and fears. Adoption is one of the hardest things you can do but it is also one of the most fulfilling. In a culture that seeks fulfillment at all costs adoption needs to be a path to that fulfillment. The most frequent question we are asked by people is why adoption is so hard. People see adoption as expensive and intimidating, and it can be both. Persistence, tenacity and patience are required to take this journey. Yet, there are so many misconceptions about adoption and so many get discouraged before they even started. I want to help people see that adoption is a choice they should take or at least help others take through their support. We started Abraham’s Promise to begin that encouragement and mentoring. It doesn’t take a perfect parent, a deep bank account, or any special talent to adopt. Yes, you can spend tens of thousands of dollars but you can also spend nothing. The options to make family are myriad and so are the misconceptions. There are thousands of kids out there waiting to be part of a family and all they need is a willing heart and loving spirit. We have no magic that makes us able to parent all these kids, no one does. But if I can encourage one person to just consider adoption then my joy will be made complete. You don’t need much to begin this journey just a little attitude and people who will be there with you; I want to be one of those people so let the journey begin.

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