we were watching the show "without a trace" and both sydney and i had a conviction to stick it out with this adoption. the show was about a kid who had been missing for 6 years and how is dad never gave up and everyone thought he was nuts, but in the end he finds the kid, who has no clue who his dad is. the parellels between our journey and the show showed me that i need to wait, how can i just give up on these kids knowing they know they are to be in our family they have pictures of all of us so they know us to some extent. to tell them it was too hard to wait would be something i could/should not do.
had another dream last night with a war motif, whats the deal. sydney and i were on a beach watching a military plane fly over, it might have even been air force one, anyway it got hit with a missile and crashed right in front of us and all the pieces came flying toward us, after we got passed that we were hit by a tidal wave that washed us up the beach i rode the crest of the wave up the beach and then i woke up breathing hard and sydney asking me what was wrong. i wish i could figure all these war type dreams out and what there meaning may be anyone have any ideas?
::..:: gathering my way ::..::
January 31, 2003
|January 30, 2003
been having very vivid dreams lately and not sure why. they have usually been a war setting with me and others running away to survive. not sure what to make of it all, last night i had one that had missiles and i was running and kept getting stopped and on the verge of being caught or killed, i think. after allelon and eric keck's talking about the dream he had about kevin rains and tawd bell i will be paying more attention to my nightly journeys, maybe i should start keeping a journal by my bed.
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just added some new bloggers, four peeps from eagle and allelon, beth and eric keck, jeanette and mark priddy. it is so cool how this internet connects people. my kids have a joke that i only make friends over the net, so after allelon i got to tell them i met some new friends the old fashion way, so old school i am. but i would not have been in idaho last week without friends i made over the net, so postmodern am i. :) the new reality of existence we have realized we ar products of many paradigms and ideas and theology, so relax and enjoy the journey.
i am about to give up on our adoption. almost everyday we get news that tells us of another delay. it seems this thing will never happen. i can't give up because i know those four kids are suppose to be in our family just not sure if it will happen. this whole thing has opened my mind to ideas of GOD's omnipotence or lack of it. been struggling with that question for a while. anyway we asked our agency in montana if they would give us our money back if we decided to go over ourselves, but to do that we need more money, which is scarse for us right now, work is busy but cash flow sucks as usual. this whole journey for adopting these kids has been an amazing picture of GOD working in people's lives, we have been given about 9k for the adoption by friends, so cool so encouraging. anyway i am trying to not get to down about this whole thing, i have really stopped thinking when i can but that does not happen very often. everytime i look at the picture of the kids i feel a pin in my gut and a liftingof my spirit all at the same time. i know we are doing what we should and maybe that is why this has been such a battle. i do believe this is a battle and the enemy is strong and persistent and ruthless and appear to find easy prey. LORD make this happen. after allelon i know i should be planting something just not sure where, have lots of ideas about what how why so i need to start putting them all together, maybe that will take my mind of the kids.
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i am about to give up on our adoption. almost everyday we get news that tells us of another delay. it seems this thing will never happen. i can't give up because i know those four kids are suppose to be in our family just not sure if it will happen. this whole thing has opened my mind to ideas of GOD's omnipotence or lack of it. been struggling with that question for a while. anyway we asked our agency in montana if they would give us our money back if we decided to go over ourselves, but to do that we need more money, which is scarse for us right now, work is busy but cash flow sucks as usual. this whole journey for adopting these kids has been an amazing picture of GOD working in people's lives, we have been given about 9k for the adoption by friends, so cool so encouraging. anyway i am trying to not get to down about this whole thing, i have really stopped thinking when i can but that does not happen very often. everytime i look at the picture of the kids i feel a pin in my gut and a liftingof my spirit all at the same time. i know we are doing what we should and maybe that is why this has been such a battle. i do believe this is a battle and the enemy is strong and persistent and ruthless and appear to find easy prey. LORD make this happen. after allelon i know i should be planting something just not sure where, have lots of ideas about what how why so i need to start putting them all together, maybe that will take my mind of the kids.
January 27, 2003
back from allelon, cooler than i imagined. coolest thing was just making new friends hanging with old ones and listening to wisdom. here is a list............................
ryan and gina thanks, without you it would have not happened....
poker in eric's garage, with oatmeal stout and great company...
dinner the first night and the friend i made, i hope for life paul kortman, and getting to know another i have known for a while and knowing it was all worth the trip....
eagle where the hell is eagle anyway and why are we here?.....
vegemite, thanks malcolm.....
andrew, jason and malcolm, two brits and a aussie and i thought i came a long way, you guys made it a blessing, i got to sleep with malcolm for three nights.....
priddy's house and them opening up to us all, thanks mark and jeanette....
some great teaching and even greater converstions with people unknown a few days before.....
andrew wallis and his sarcasm, it made we howl with laughter and think deeply......
being prayed for before i left from priddy's sunday, you guys don't know what that meant to me.......
bill clark from seattle and his wisdom, another friend to journey with.......
the 2 and 1/4 rv ride to dinner in "boy c" and watching the sanitary tank on the rv get ripped off what a hoot.....
dinner saturday, talking to jim henderson and crew........
getting to tell people about my kids and why we adopt......
getting feed both physically and spiritually.....
knowing the spirit was at work and watching hearts break and being healed....
jason evans telling me something i wrote on my blog inspired his wife...........
just being with others willing to be real and allowing me to be too, we all need more of that .........
i got home monday morning a 2:45 after 5 hours of very smooth flight and 6 hours in a car with no heat, damn that was cold, not able to feel my feet but on fire inside with joy and peace and challenge and a knowledge that GOD will be there in all of it, mark priddy your vision was great and right on, the room is getting lighter and knowing which door to open also
so now its time to take a deep breath and dive in
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ryan and gina thanks, without you it would have not happened....
poker in eric's garage, with oatmeal stout and great company...
dinner the first night and the friend i made, i hope for life paul kortman, and getting to know another i have known for a while and knowing it was all worth the trip....
eagle where the hell is eagle anyway and why are we here?.....
vegemite, thanks malcolm.....
andrew, jason and malcolm, two brits and a aussie and i thought i came a long way, you guys made it a blessing, i got to sleep with malcolm for three nights.....
priddy's house and them opening up to us all, thanks mark and jeanette....
some great teaching and even greater converstions with people unknown a few days before.....
andrew wallis and his sarcasm, it made we howl with laughter and think deeply......
being prayed for before i left from priddy's sunday, you guys don't know what that meant to me.......
bill clark from seattle and his wisdom, another friend to journey with.......
the 2 and 1/4 rv ride to dinner in "boy c" and watching the sanitary tank on the rv get ripped off what a hoot.....
dinner saturday, talking to jim henderson and crew........
getting to tell people about my kids and why we adopt......
getting feed both physically and spiritually.....
knowing the spirit was at work and watching hearts break and being healed....
jason evans telling me something i wrote on my blog inspired his wife...........
just being with others willing to be real and allowing me to be too, we all need more of that .........
i got home monday morning a 2:45 after 5 hours of very smooth flight and 6 hours in a car with no heat, damn that was cold, not able to feel my feet but on fire inside with joy and peace and challenge and a knowledge that GOD will be there in all of it, mark priddy your vision was great and right on, the room is getting lighter and knowing which door to open also
so now its time to take a deep breath and dive in
January 21, 2003
we still dont know whats going on with the kids it seems that there is much confusion about the whole thing being that our advocate is in the northern part of ethiopia gathering more of the kids, so all the happenings in addis are not getting sent on. so we wait still :(
i am heading west tomorrow, first to saint louis to meet up with ryan and gina hale then we are all off to boise, idaho for allelon, i am really looking forward to this conference i have felt very clearly that i should be planting something here in cincy. this is a city of compliant and at many times very apathetic people who let many things go on without making nay changes, ie racism. anyway it will be great to talk with people doing and thinking along the same lines as me for a change, i find it hard at times to get people to listen here, being postmodern and all you know. i am looking forward to the trip but really hate leaving home, not seeing the kids and my wife for five days is not great, i am glad i don't have ajob that requires a lot of travel.
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i am heading west tomorrow, first to saint louis to meet up with ryan and gina hale then we are all off to boise, idaho for allelon, i am really looking forward to this conference i have felt very clearly that i should be planting something here in cincy. this is a city of compliant and at many times very apathetic people who let many things go on without making nay changes, ie racism. anyway it will be great to talk with people doing and thinking along the same lines as me for a change, i find it hard at times to get people to listen here, being postmodern and all you know. i am looking forward to the trip but really hate leaving home, not seeing the kids and my wife for five days is not great, i am glad i don't have ajob that requires a lot of travel.
January 18, 2003
its been two days since two of the kids went to court and we have heard nothing, i really hate waiting. its has been a year since first got the picture of the first child we were to adopt, she grew to two then three then four, and actually the first child disappeared, to be replaced by another. this is quite the journey but my frustration is nothing to the lives these kids have had to live. right now we have no idea when the children will be able to come here, so we wait.
i am really getting scared of the level of determination of the bush administration to go to war with iraq. is it that we need to pick on somebody we know we can destroy in short order to pump ourselves up, are we that big of bully, are that small of a nation. its about oil, allegiances with israel and power, control and for me biblical prophecy, not that i see this war as part of any prophetic predictions, but i think with bush being an evangelical christian maybe he believes all the left behind books are real and that we can actually determine the time and the place of the return of our LORD, maybe they think they need to protect israel at all costs no matter what they do to the palestinians. has anyone else seen this connection to the bush admin’s non stop journey toward destruction of iraq? am i alone in my fear that we are about to unleash an evil that we will never be able to contain, while i watched the two towers i could not help thinking that we are saron and our eyes stretches over this planet with a need to control and lord over all who will not submit to our will. we are not GOD's chosen people, we are flawed sinfilled people, many of whom are scared of this war and what it will do to innocent children and families can we please stop and start again.
the west domination of the world through our cultural imperialism is waining and maybe this war is a last ditch effort to re-establish the USA as the ruling elite, i pray not.
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i am really getting scared of the level of determination of the bush administration to go to war with iraq. is it that we need to pick on somebody we know we can destroy in short order to pump ourselves up, are we that big of bully, are that small of a nation. its about oil, allegiances with israel and power, control and for me biblical prophecy, not that i see this war as part of any prophetic predictions, but i think with bush being an evangelical christian maybe he believes all the left behind books are real and that we can actually determine the time and the place of the return of our LORD, maybe they think they need to protect israel at all costs no matter what they do to the palestinians. has anyone else seen this connection to the bush admin’s non stop journey toward destruction of iraq? am i alone in my fear that we are about to unleash an evil that we will never be able to contain, while i watched the two towers i could not help thinking that we are saron and our eyes stretches over this planet with a need to control and lord over all who will not submit to our will. we are not GOD's chosen people, we are flawed sinfilled people, many of whom are scared of this war and what it will do to innocent children and families can we please stop and start again.
the west domination of the world through our cultural imperialism is waining and maybe this war is a last ditch effort to re-establish the USA as the ruling elite, i pray not.
January 12, 2003
first, our friends did get the twins, and got some surprised looks at church today, it seems our families don't fit into the USAmerican pragmatic view of christianity. get ask alot how are you going to support all those kids, and i just laugh and think if we waited until everything was secure and inplace we would have never adopted the first child, there is something about stepping out first and then worrying about the pragmatics later.
second, our four children go to court tuesday the 14th, please pray that all will be approved, there has been so much hindering this whole thing we have been waiting for over a year for them. still need money to pay their way over here, still need everything finalized over there and then we get to deal with immigration from our side which can be very slow and difficult. the orphan status of the kids may be questioned it seems so many people have to put their approval on this thing all the kids want is a family.
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second, our four children go to court tuesday the 14th, please pray that all will be approved, there has been so much hindering this whole thing we have been waiting for over a year for them. still need money to pay their way over here, still need everything finalized over there and then we get to deal with immigration from our side which can be very slow and difficult. the orphan status of the kids may be questioned it seems so many people have to put their approval on this thing all the kids want is a family.
January 06, 2003
just heard that our friends might be getting two more kids, twin siblings of their 5 year old and 2 year old twin sibs already in their family, it will make ten for them, so cool. when we get our four that will be 22 between our two families, what chaos, what joy!
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January 04, 2003
there are 29 kids in the group with our kids coming over from ethiopia. all of them but our four were in court yesterday. the judge basicalyy dismissed the cased without a ruling because the head of the ministry that oversees adoption's head whom we have to go throught to have all this approved refused to make any statements about the files for the kids and the judge accepted his refusal, it seem our judge was told to say ok or else byt a fellow judge the minister's wife. so 25 of the kids are stuck until a suit can be filed against the problem guy. but our four were not part of the group for some reason and go back to court on the 14th. not sure why that happened, but the judge who will hear our kids case seems unafraid of any power the minister has over people and the porcess. it seem this whole thing will never end. corruption, power struggles, etc and the kids sit and wait to go to homes they know are waiting, many are in poor health and badly malnourished, one has alerady died in the group during all this uproar. we are getting very depressed and frustrated with it all, keep praying.
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